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She wanted me to become a spokesperson, and when I refused, someone higher up in the food chain emailed me again. But then the same thing happened again with another STI dating site, and then another, and another. I don’t think any STI dating service is going to reinvent the wheel and be successful when so many have tried and failed in the past. One of the first emails I received when I went viral way back in April 2015 was from a woman claiming to work for Positive (I say claiming because she wasn’t using a Positive Singles email address). I don’t want to endorse a product I would never personally use. It’s time to talk about herpes dating websites and how much I hate them.These websites enable the self-segregation of the H community in a way that I believe contributes to our invisibility and inertia. Some of these websites claim to empower their customers.STI dating services are almost always unethical money-grabs that prey on what seems like a potentially underserved niche market.This Silicon Valley opportunism is antithetical to real social change and progress.The relationships that start with the premise “Hey I’ve got herpes too, let’s get a drink!” are usually short and predicated on nothing more than a false sense of familiarity.
Herpes dating services have been around since the Internet was invented, thanks to a powerful social stigma that makes disclosing your STI status a frightening prospect for many of us.I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too.The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites.This is a play for legitimacy and access to my platform, and I’m super done with it.